7 Things We Need To Give Up To Be Happy
Many people define happiness differently and everyone has their own formula for happiness. Despite the happiness being different for everyone, there are several common habits or actions that prevent us from being happy. In this article we want to list 7 actions that stop us from becoming happy.
One of the most common things all unhappy people do is complaining. People complain about the weather, traffic or any other situation they find themselves in but they don’t realize that it is actually harder and takes more energy than getting on and accepting it as it is. That is why we should not worry and pay too much attention to things that are not in our control. Accepting everything as it is and adapting to the situations is much easier and healthier for us.
2. Dwelling on the past
We all are humans and all of us make mistakes and fail at something. But most of us often punish ourselves for long time for the past mistakes and failures. Although some people may suggest to forget our past, it is not something we can do as it always follows us. It is our history and part of our life. But what we can do is, instead of feeling unhappy about our past mistakes, we can learn from them a lesson and focus on our future with more experience and lessons.
3. Comparing ourselves to others
This is the fastest way to be unhappy. When we look at other people’s lives, we see only the results and outcomes of their actions. We don’t see what they have been through and we don’t feel their pain. It is like comparing our level 1 with their level 20. So instead of comparing ourselves to others we should compare ourselves to our past. Are we improving? Are we learning from our mistakes? Are we becoming better version of ourselves? This way we can improve ourselves and remove negative thoughts.
4. Blaming others
All of us know this type of people and many of us have been that person. The cause of this habit is not taking responsibility for our own life. We don’t want to step up for our own life and expect the whole world to work in our favor. That is never going to happen. Nothing is arranged for us or against us. Everything is just as it is. All we can do is to accept the responsibility and step up for our life and build a life we want. Whatever life we are living, it is the outcome of our decisions and actions and we totally deserve it. So to be happy, we should stop blaming others and carry the responsibility ourselves.
5. Living up to others’ expectations
If we worry what others may think, we will never be able to live our own life. Even the expectations of our family may not be best for us because everyone thinks from their own perspective. If we try to meet others’ expectations, we may do the things we don’t want and have a life we don’t like. It is better to make our own decisions and make our own mistakes. Because it is our life and it is us who are going to live it until the end. So instead of meeting others’ expectations and doing the things that make us unhappy, it is better to live life on our terms and enjoy our possible shortfalls and mistakes.
6. Relating happiness to something/someone
Relating happiness to something or someone is the surest way to become unhappy. We can’t control what we will have. We may work for it and try to achieve it, but it is not fully in our control. Same as relating happiness to someone. We may not be with whomever we want. If we relate our happiness to things out of our control, we may never be happy. That’s why we should be grateful for everything we have and everything we are. Because being happy requires nothing. It is just like breathing. We can be happy at any moment despite the situation we are in. As Leo Tolstoy says, “If you want to be happy, be.”
7. Resisting change
Most of the times, many of us become comfortable with our current situation and refuse to change which as a result robs our happiness. What most of us don’t understand is, change comes when we grow and become unsatisfied with our results or situation. It means we have achieved everything in our current state and are ready to move on to a better goal or to improve ourselves further. It is like progressing through life, leveling up. If we resist change, we remain at the level we were before and guess what, there is nothing new and nothing to enjoy. As a result, we get bored, we get fed up with the same old thing and become unhappy. So when life opens new level for us, we should not refuse and accept the new challenges and adventures. Because that’s what we will enjoy and what makes us happy.